FRIENDSHIPS

As you may have already found out, the friends that you have in high school are not necessarily the friends you will have later in college. Any friendship is something you have to work at, you need to nurture it.


People change and sometimes they change into people you don't want to be around. When you enter college, you're surrounded by new people - some that you click with, some that you don't. Be open to meeting new people. Understand that your old high school friends will be changing, just like you will be changed by being in college too.


Take the initiative to call or text old friends and ask about their college. If they aren't too far away, invite them to visit you at your college or make a point to visit them at their campus. Shared experiences are what cement a friendship.


Make a point of making new friends at college. You have to open up to new people, let them get to know you, and find some common interest.

Often, girls or guys will get so involved with their boyfriend/girlfriend, that they drop all other friendships. Often these college romances don't last. You get dumped. Then, just when you really need a friend to hang with, to vent with, you realize you have no one because you dropped all your friends when Mr./Ms. Special came along. College romances are fantastic, but keep your other friendships alive too.

Join clubs and organizations where you have a common interest. Or get out of your comfort zone and at least try a club that you feel is different from your views or interests, but be respectful.


The easiest way to make new friends is by having a ready smile, look people in the eye, and maintain your sense of humor when all else fails.

THE POWER OF OUR WORDS

Have you ever considered the real power our words have upon other people and have on ourselves? You may be like me, I forget myself and will say something without thinking. I don't mean to be insensitive or thoughtless, but I am at times. My words affect others and ultimately myself as well.

Let me give you an example of this. This goes way back, but this further proves how powerful our words are, that I still to this day think of this example often. Right before Halloween when I was in 6th grade (I told you this goes way back!), my neighbor and best friend who was a boy, Billy, was diagnosed with cancer. Billy and I, plus his brothers and sisters and my sister, would walk to school everyday and played together often. We all had been inseparable since 1st grade.
Now at that age, I knew nothing about cancer; all I knew was that Billy wasn't going to school with us anymore. Late in January, on a mild day, I saw Billy out riding bikes with another boy from school. I was mad that Billy hadn't been at school lately so I blurted out at him, "You don't look too sick to go to school to me!"

Those were the last words I ever spoke to Billy as he died February 20th. All these years later and I still haven't forgiven myself for that awful comment.

Conversely, sometimes we don't realize how a small but positive comment and smile of friendship or encouragement can help a friend, acquaintance, or stranger. You can make a difference in a person's life by diffusing potentially embarrassing or uncomfortable situations with a few well chosen words. And it costs you nothing! Try to make it a practice to be aware of the power of your words and make them positive.

DO YOU JUDGE BY CHARACTER OR BY APPEARANCE?

When you meet someone new, boy or girl, do you judge by character or by appearance? If we are honest, we must admit that more often than not, our judgements on people are based on appearance.


When I was a senior in high school, I had my own clique I hung out with. I shared several classes with two girls that I never gave the time of day. They were brainy, goody-goody types. I judged these two girls to be not my type, didn't bother to get to know them, they weren't like the others in my social clique.


I sat directly behind one and to the side of the other. From time to time we had to work together, in a group. By the time the school year was coming to a close, it finally dawned on me, both of these girls had a terrific sense of humor. They were smart, funny girls. They were not the most stylish or trendiest girls but I could tell they were headed for success. So as my last days of high school sped by, I had a mature thought, quit looking at appearances and look at a person's character. By the end of May that year, I told both of them that I wished I had gotten to know them better. And I meant it. I felt like I had missed out by not getting to know these girls earlier in the year and I vowed to try to not let that happen again.

How many people do you disregard right off the bat before you even know anything about them? Do you ever look at a person's character? What do your friends look like? Are they all carbon copies of you?

One thing I realized about most of us, we want everyone to be JUST LIKE US. We want people to agree with our opinions. We feel most comfortable with people who look just like us, think like us, act like us. But it is worth it to look beyond our own little group to get to know people who are different from us.

Different religions, different nationalities, different political parties, different races, different languages, different cultures, even different sexual orientation can widen our horizons and help us to understand new ways of thinking. Sometimes when we look beyond the surface appearance, we can learn to appreciate the differences and at the same time recognize similar character traits that all humans share.

So today, try this experiment. Pick an interesting person out of one of your classes that you would never have spoken to in the past and start a conversation. Smile, be friendly, be natural, but don't be judgemental. You may be surprised at what you find.